I haven't talked about my job in a long time.
Right now, I hate it.
Once upon a time, I loved it. But for the last year or so, I've known that I have outgrown it. I have learned everything I can learn here, and there is no path for advancement unless my immediate boss decides to retire, in which case I'm pretty sure I could have her job. But she shows no signs of retiring any time soon.
It's not all bad. I love the people I work with (well, for the most part!). And my responsibilities are varied enough that I am very rarely bored.
The real problem is that the lack of paid maternity leave makes me feel trapped. I try to schedule all my doctor appointments ridiculously early in the morning so that I can get to work on time. It doesn't matter how exhausted I am, I can't take an afternoon off. It doesn't matter how much I would like to have an extra day to spend with my family this Thanksgiving, I can't take a vacation day. Because I know how much I will need that little bit of paid time off in May. I get 12 weeks of leave, but the only bits that will be paid are the bits of sick time and vacation time I have managed to save. If I hadn't used any of it, that would be four weeks of paid leave. But I've already had to use four days. Ugh. And my new contract year (based on date of hire) won't reset until after I should be back from my maternity leave. So instead of scheduling a vacation day here and there, or taking a half-day of sick leave for a doctor's visit and a nap, I show up at work all day every day and feel resentful and trapped. It is not good.
Speaking of doctor's visits, and really this should have been the headline, I had an appointment yesterday and we heard Iggy's heartbeat loud and strong! Next appointment is December 11, and that will be the big anatomy scan as well. I don't know how I will be able to wait four weeks! I am so grateful and amazed to have made it this far. And I think I will have to buy some maternity pants soon. Before getting in the shower today I was startled to see my reflection in the mirror sporting a linea nigra already. But upon closer inspection, it was a linea zipper. Time to put those pants away.