Monday, September 24, 2007

Hope

has crept in, again. But this time I find that I really, really want her to stick around. In fact, I'm not doing any of the things I could do to easily get rid of her. Like take my temperature in the morning. Or pee on a stick.

I have reevaluated my chart of this months' symptoms (minus any temperatures), in the context of my entire and exhaustive history of previous ovulations. I think that I probably ovulated on cycle day 28, 29 or 30. (I won't even get into the fact that I was so confused about last months' cycle and what to call "day one" of this cycle that days 28-30 might, in fact, be days 21-29.)

So, today is 12-14 dpo. I think I could take a pregnancy test today without it being too ridiculously premature. I have one in my night stand. I can not bring myself to do it.

Even if I only get one more day of groping my sore boobs and pretending this bloating and cramping are early pregnancy symptoms instead of pms, I want that one day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I don't have a blog and only came upon yours a few months ago when I was researching my own infertility issues. In the months since, I have been checking in on occasion to see how things are going and hoping that you win your war. Yesterday, I liked your post. Who hasn't let hope creep in. I got my period yesterday... I hope that you do not! Best of luck... I am sending happy thoughts your way.
C.

Anonymous said...

me too, is on the 12-14 dpo waiting. And like you, I couldn't bring myself to the test. Please hang on there, just wait...

Anonymous said...

Another day. Hope you are still there, still waiting, still in the hope. Be strong, be patient.

Y.