Saturday, October 06, 2007

trigger

On Friday morning I was back in the stirrups again. It was a different nurse this time, and she was not nearly as informative as First Nurse. She asked me if I thought my follicles were growing, and I told her it felt like it. Different Nurse didn't say much at all while she was scanning me, nor did she spend nearly as much time doing so. She didn't measure my ovaries, or spend time counting follicles, she just measured the biggest ones. She told me that the doctor would probably recommend that I take a low-dose of hcg to help mature the larger follicles, but not enough to trigger (I have never heard of that, have you?), and that I would probably need to come back on Saturday morning for another scan. Fine by me, the more scans the better.

So imagine my surprise when Different Nurse called later in the morning to say that instead I was to go ahead with one more fsh injection (half of what I have been injecting) and trigger on Saturday, without coming back for another scan. I was in shock. I was so nervous I could have vomited. Right there in the hall at work (my cell phone only gets reception in certain random places at work).

I immediately tracked down the one person at work who knows what I am doing, who has been through it all herself. She gave me a little pep talk about how everything would be okay, and I had to decide to trust my doctor, and suggested I call and ask how many follicles they thought would be mature enough to respond to the trigger. (This is my big fear, that I will wind up with HOM.) So, on my lunch break I called from my car. I thought I would have to leave a message, but miraculously it was Different Nurse who answered the phone. I told her I was nervous, asked if I shouldn't come in for just one more scan, and asked about the number of mature follicles. She was kind and reassuring, said that there was no need to come in for another scan "believe me, if the doctor thought it was necessary, he would have you come in" and said that while it is impossible to guarantee how many follicles would be mature enough to release an egg in response to the trigger the prediction is three.

Three. I would have preferred one or two. But three does not terrify me. After all, I have been regularly releasing one egg for some time now, with nothing to show for it. So I don't necessarily fear that three eggs = triplets. I know it's just as likely (more likely, even) to = nothing at all. What scares the hell out of me is the thought of 10 eggs, or more. It really makes me nervous that they did not deem it necessary for me to come in for a final scan this morning after my last fsh injection last night.

But I have decided to trust. I spent a long time choosing this RE. I have to believe that I chose correctly, and that he knows a lot more about this than I do.

Wish me luck. We are going away for the weekend (or what's left of it), in the hopes that the trip will be full of distractions and I won't spend the whole time freaking out about whether I should have triggered, and whether we should have had sex, and whether we are about to become parents to octuplets.

4 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

I think we are feeling pretty similiar in this whole process today. I wrote a post about this same fear/topic/dr doubt yesterday. WIshing us lots of calming thoughts and a BFP

Mommy Someday said...

This is Michelle at Mommy Somday delurking here... Good luck! Can't wait to see how the rest of the cycle goes!

During my last cycle I had a surprise trigger shot. They even gave me the talk about multiples and reductions (they estimated that I could release 3-5 eggs). Personally, I think it was too early, as my cycle did not result in a BFP, but it alleviated some of the stress of waiting on a natural surge.

swissmiss said...

Good luck!

Ann said...

Best of luck - both for the triggering and for a lovely weekend of distractions! I always hated the uninformative nurses. Here's hoping for one egg to be fertilized and implanted.