Sunday, November 27, 2005

Revenge of the empty uterus

Or, in other words, killer cramps. That's what I've got. Oh the joys of ovulating and not getting pregnant.

Actually, I am fairly amazed by the fact that I actually ovulated, which I am as certain of as one can be without extensive bloodwork and ultrasounds, none of which I have had.

But, here is the case for ovulation:

1. Spotted fertile quality cervical mucus - this led to much sex and a renewed effort at bbt charting!

2. Three days later a temperature spike (sadly only have one previous temp to use as baseline so this is not hard evidence, but my bbt went higher than it ever has in 5 years of very sporadic charting, and stayed up)!

3. Three days after temp spike the first of eight (eight!) days of intense breast tenderness (in the midst of this of course was when I began cherishing notions that not only had I ovulated but I had conceived as well . . . foolish me).

4. Two days of truly horrible headaches for which I dutifully refrained from taking any medication (other than caffeine from which I am past the point of abstaining after 2 pointless years of living in a caffeine-free fog which did not result in a single baby).

5. Twelve (12!) consecutive days free of even the tiniest bit of spotting (this may be a personal record for me).

6. The aforementioned killer cramps which arrived today; you see, real cramps go along with real cycles. I may bleed all the time but it is generally completely painless. And now that I have joined the ranks of the ovulators I enjoy all the benefits and privileges.

Alas, for all the good it appears to have done me this was a noble yet wasted effort at ovulation. While the horrible cramps have not yet produced the torrent of blood I am expecting, there is a goodish bit of bright redness. More than I would call just spotting. I am not deluding myself with further thoughts of a possible pregnancy.

Yet I am refusing to take anything for the cramps. You know, just in case. Not that I really believe I might be pregnant. Nope, I'm not that naive. Just a glutton for physical pain. That's it. And I refuse, refuse, refuse to take a pregnancy test. Because I am an overachiever and I really hate failing tests.

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