Sunday, November 13, 2005

I'm still here

Thank you, Thalia and DoctorMama for your thoughtful encouragement. It truly cheered me to read your comments. Although, I have to say, my favorite thing anyone said to me regarding the lost job was when my Dad called to say, "Who is this person who didn't hire you? Do you want me to call her and tell her what an idiot she is?". Gotta love that love.

So at this point I have mostly crawled out of the little black hole of depression that I was wallowing in for about a week. I actually love many things about my new position. But it is EXHAUSTING trying to figure out the ins and outs of it! More than I could have imagined. I am now working well over 50 hours a week (if only I were getting paid for all that time, sigh). I am sure there are good reasons for all of this, and I'm really not complaining. I'm just explaining that while I've been trying to get my feet solidly underneath me in this new environment I have been too tired to write about it at the end of the day. Or even on the weekends which I have devoted to sleeping, mostly. I have been keeping up with the blogs that I read. Can't sacrifice that to sleep or sanity.

Anyway, I hope I will be back to blogging more regularly soon, because I miss it. Miss the release and bit of clarity I get from channeling these thoughts out of my head and into the vastness of the internet.

Oh, and just to prove that this is still an infertility blog . . . here is what I am completely preoccupied with at the moment: On Friday morning I, um, produced? discovered? encountered? fertile quality cervical mucus. That's right, my very own eggwhite. Not something I have encountered before in such an unambiguous way. I almost thought I was hallucinating. I dug out my battered copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and compared to the pics. Yup, that's what I thought. Now, I know this doesn't mean that I will ovulate, but it's a good sign, right? So, the requisite sex followed. And then again for good measure. With plans for more, more, more. (Isn't it amazing what a shot of optimism does for the sex drive?) It has been a good weekend! Now I just have to remind myself (constantly) that this does not, in fact, mean that in a few weeks I will be staring at my own positive pregnancy test.

1 comment:

thalia said...

Elizabeth I'm glad you've had some positive fertility signs going on with all that hard work and tiredness. I hope that this is all it will take for you.