Friday, October 14, 2005

i have problems making decisions

In case you haven't noticed.

After my PhD was completed I ran screaming away from academia. I was a nervous, unhappy, marginally functional person after the dissertation process had worked me over. I was so wrecked by grad school and my half-hearted attempt at an academic job search that I occasionally find it painful just to read Barely Tenured.

My job after that was non-academic but still high stress. I loved my coworkers, and even most parts of my job, but made the decision to leave in part because I was hoping if I was less stressed I might finally ovulate. (Yes, yes, I know. Wishful thinking.)

I stumbled into my current job, which definitely fulfills the low-stress requirement. But I don't love it. I know that on paper this is not what I am most qualified to do, but I think I am good at it.

So, yes, I have been thinking about yet another job change, although it pains me to think of another job search.

Then today I received a call from my grad school mentor. She is looking for someone to manage a research program for her. And she wants me. What do I think?

What do I think???

Has enough time gone by that I can put my dissertation experiences behind me and take a chance on this job? It would be back in my original field of study (and thus relieve that nagging feeling that I completely wasted all those years of grad school). It would be well paying (and thus relieve that nagging feeling that I am really tired of not having any money). It would be reentering the world of academia (and thus possibly horrible). It would also be full time work again, and a return to job related stress (though, I have to remind myself, there is no reason to think I am not up to it . . . and I have given up on the low stress = ovulation theory). And if we are even contemplating pursuing fertility treatments it would be good to be making more money.

I hate making decisions.

1 comment:

thalia said...

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for finding my blog. I wish you luck with the career choices. I changed career twice, and both times it made me much happier. I think the trick for me was to think about what I actually was good at and enjoyed in my job rather than what I *wanted* to be good at. Also, life is too short to do a job that makes you miserable every day.