anticipation

What a wonderful surprise to come home and find a comment from DoctorMama! I am growing a bit bolder about posting on others' blogs (it so often seems that anything worth saying has been said by others already) as I realize how thrilled I am to find comments on my own (so, thank you, DoctorMama!).

I am getting ready for tomorrow's meeting about the (possible) new job. I have carefully chosen what I will wear, Al polished all my black shoes until they look new again (so I can choose at the last minute which ones to wear . . . if I have not said it before I really don't deserve him), and I am printing up a new copy of my CV (that's an academic resume, in case you are lucky enough not to know).

I am nervous about tomorrow. But not nearly as nervous as I thought I would be. Most of my feelings of panic and worry have washed away and I am feeling excited about this opportunity. Excited about having a chance to actually use my degree. Excited about making more money. I know it would be more stressful than my current job, but even that does not bother me right now. This is a strange feeling for me . . . calm anticipation. I hardly know what to make of it.

We spent a long weekend away at my in-law's house. They, especially my mil, dearly wish that we would move closer to them (and start having babies right away . . . if they only knew . . . ), so I know they had mixed feelings about this job prospect. But I have to give them credit, they were very encouraging. Truthfully, the top of my list of people I would like to tell that we are TTC is my mil. She is sympathetic and nonjudgmental, and I know she is probably confused by the fact that five years ago we were talking about babies all the time (just little asides like names that we like, or gushing over baby stuff in store windows, etc) and now the topic never comes up and if it does it is brushed aside. Al and I weren't up to the big conversation this weekend though, right now it's all about this job.

Wish me luck. I only hope I can get a definite offer or rejection so I can know what to tell my boss about the other job (she wants an answer by tomorrow afternoon). Obviously, I would prefer an offer to a rejection, but either way I would like to know soon!