We did another iui. It didn't work. We have used up all the money we set aside in our flexible health spending account for 2008. RE suggests ivf. My car died. Really, really dead. Hmmm..replace car or do ivf? About the same, financially. And we can't really afford either. Unfortunately, I need a car to get to work.
What else? I broke my leg. Jack's car needs expensive repairs. We had to replace a crucial and expensive appliance. We now only spend money on gas or groceries. Need I mention the price of gas and groceries?
Oh, wait. We also spend money on baby shower gifts. I have been to three baby showers this month.
We have an appointment with a new RE. I am looking forward to hearing a new perspective on our inability to reproduce. But I don't know that we'll be able to pay for any treatments in the near future.
Jack tentatively mentioned to his parents that we are looking at ivf. Hoping, of course, that they might offer a little assistance. Instead, I got a 10 minute soliloquy from well-meaning but crazy-making mother-in-law on the futility of throwing away a fortune on fertility treatments when the only way to get pregnant is to stop trying.
I feel crushed and helpless.
Surely there are some good things in my life? I love my husband. I love Craig Ferguson. I love M&Ms. Watching Craig Ferguson with Jack while eating M&Ms makes my life worth living at the moment. The other 23 hours a day don't even bear thinking about.